![]() ![]() Not even the operating surgeon believed it but I handled the publicity so I know it’s 100 per cent true. I should add, at this point, that Andy is a master of self-hypnosis and once had a vasectomy at the Marie Stopes clinic in London without anaesthetic or blood loss. ![]() Not a homesick Aussie but Andy in upside down modeĪndy blamed the stress of life as a City whizz kid for the small bald patch on the back of his head and, one fateful day, chucked his job and began a search for the cure for male pattern baldness. ![]() To be brutally honest, it’s not so much thinning as on a crash diet and as I watched James snip away at what remains of my greying locks on Tuesday, I thought of my friend Andy Bryant and his book The Baldness Cure. I think it’s the “warm white” light bulbs which are meant to be soft, flattering and relaxing, but act like a searchlight in a Nazi POW camp on my thinning hair as it makes its great escape. Something about the lighting at my hairdressers makes my hair look like it’s having a worse recession than the UK economy. We haven’t had many mortar attacks in Ockham lately but there are regular bombardments on the local countryside by developers with ambitions for many thousands of new front doors – and the not-so-affordable houses they’ll plonk behind them. Mind you, my door’s made of wood rather than the bomb-proof metal they used on the new door at No 10 after the oak door was replaced, in 1991, following an IRA mortar attack from a van parked in Whitehall. ![]() And that’s what seems to have happened here, and why my front door is now jet black instead of sunflower yellow. The experts say that if your eyes are subjected to a specific image for long enough it will affect your mind without you ever being aware of it. And that’s when I reckon I was subliminally bamboozled into asking Justin to buy black gloss paint for my sunflower-yellow front door in Ockham. But, of course, we waited nearly as long to find a new tenant for number 10 – a tedious election process culminating in equally tedious speeches by outgoing and incoming Prime Ministers, and all delivered against a backdrop of the famous front door at 10 Downing Street. ![]()
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